you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
