my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
