I'm gonna have a badass scar
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
