is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
two words...techno handjob
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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