What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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