I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
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