i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
