hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
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