can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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