ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
