Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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