I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
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