Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
