I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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