Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
