Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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