i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Randomize
