and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
