and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I stole a fireplace last night.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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