thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I'm gonna fight the coyote
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
