I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Randomize
