It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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