I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
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