I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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