dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
