it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Randomize
