We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
