Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Randomize
