I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
