If i come over, it means nothing
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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