my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
My breath smells like gin and sadness
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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