How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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