Buhtt sex?
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Randomize
