Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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