p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
organizing the empties. That sober.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
My vagina is very pro this idea
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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