I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
high people should be assigned attendants
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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