someone get that fucking seahorse.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
