Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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