His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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