absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
whose ass print is on the piano?
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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