Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
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