I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
