That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
