Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
