We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
