Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Randomize
