the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
