I love black thongs
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
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