It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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