Ambien. No doubt about it.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
