I wish they made helmets for livers.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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